Brown and Levison..Rules to politeness

Positive face (meaning you want to be liked and approved) requires....

Paying attention
Seeking agreement (safe topics)
Pretend agreement (white lies)
Using humour
Using appropriate address terms
Compliments

Negative face (dealing with difficult situations in a tactful way) shows...

Being indirect
Questioning and hedging
Being apologetic
Giving deference (reducing your status)